Coming up on our three-year anniversary, I wouldn’t say we know everything about marriage. But, we’re getting happily muddling through. The last several years have exceeded my expectations. I am so truly and deeply thankful for my wonderful husband and congratulate myself often for picking such a great guy. Yay, me!
Of course, that isn’t to say things are perfect but I’m not sure I’d ever want them to be. By in large, we’re a good place and able to process the joys and challenges of life pretty effectively. Like most couples (I believe), on balance we talk a lot about the short-term and much less about the long-term. Before getting married, we had the requisite conversations about kids and money and work and sex, etc. But all of those discussions and decisions are kept in our memories and not written down anywhere.
Fast forward a couple of years and most of those “big picture” acknowledgements are still in tact but they’re less crisp. The rallying cries have lost some vibrancy and he and I both know those big ideas have surely morphed given other life changes over that time. I guess we’re just not sure how.
I’m wondering how might we most effectively 1) have a discussion to firm up those long-term goals and 2) develop more near-term action plan that we’re both working towards. Could standard, commonly used business management tools and techniques could be applicable?
A volume of tools and “how to” books and courses are available for business planning and performance assessment. And, of course, there are oodles of resources for marriage. My issue with some of the marriage stuff is that it seems a little hokey. I spend a lot of up front time researching and figuring out which book would be the least objectionable to my husband who would never, by the way, dream of browsing the “self help” section at Barnes and Noble.
So, I’m wondering if using business techniques that are very familiar to him might help bridge the gap by providing a more familiar, analytical framework. In our relationship, I am the dreamer and he’s more practical. But, like in business, there are an infinite number of combinations of strengths and behaviors in marriages out there. But somehow, every day and each year, effective business-folk around the world need to get on the same page so that targets are achieved, ideas fleshed out, concepts sold, development actions met, etc.
Some common business tools that come to mind might include–
- Strategic, long-term planning (multi-year development cycle)
- Account planning (taking one year at a time, must align with strategic goals)
- Annual performance assessments
- Personal development plans
What if you took these established techniques and applied them to your marriage? Would the relationship improve, blow up, or would all this churn of activity have no effect? Can a complex, emotionally charged construct like marriage be run like a business?
